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There once was a man from Nantucket.

He had a vision in his head.
To put pen to paper and complete a story.
With the idea fallen through he attempted a different avenue.
Work had gone along, but problems persisted.
Abandoning the story he once had hopes for,
he moved out of arts house and into purgatory of mind.
I only met him once, but he told quite a story.
of how he'd given up on art, and it nearly ended his life,
one he'd built on such personal glory.
He found he wasn't who he wanted to be
he wasn't who he thought he was.
We shared stories of the finer things,
wrote memoirs of the day.
Everything he built upon,
crashed down around his den.

Prague, circa 80.

-_-

Lost cause

Alone, there, in the dark, she stares.
feeling like the 'screams in a vacuum' she hears in the airwaves.
Her hands bleed more than the pen on her paper.
she can't break the cycle she resists,
up all night writing useless shit.
I watch from afar, helping with my mind,
never in contact, mustn't know I'm not fine.
I think she once had a dream,
washed away with the brains it seems.
Those marks tell her a story she never hears,
and all along she has everything to fear.

It was fun while it lasted.

Wasn't it?

One. Only

Yesterday was that day,
it all was just going my way.
Two rims in this duet gets it rollin'
but sometimes the one is greater than the six, and it hits you.
or your bound to bike the curb, swallow the rock,
hit the escape, smokin' heroine off that dock.
'cause when you're on top, you fall faster than ever before,
harder than what's in store.
you can't breather and you're shaking,
it invades you, forced in like the hatred.
Remember to wear it proud, it looks good on you now.
Where I'm comin' from, it fits you well.
Just don;t forget to share in the fun,
it's over so fast it hurts, then it's just time to run.

It's all sugar and roses [fs]

Somewhere I wonder what you think.
and I want you to know what it takes.
these shoes don't fill themselves
and this world wants to come crashing down.
When you lose all the battles, but now win the war,
everyone will doubt you, but to the victor go the spoils.
Sometimes the pain sets in and you know when you get it.
The grind will take you away,
no days off is here to stay.

New project.

I've started a new secret project.  No you can't read it, noone can, but it's important.

Right now.

Taking a step backwards on this board game we play..

..

I can't take anymore.
Is this all we are?
Can you help me sleep again?

what it is.

I'm looking up and you push me down.
I;m reaching up to pull myself out.
You life me up but rip me around,
my strength is done, avulsion now.

My tongue is the paper, blank as can be.
I'm a runaway brain, and nothing can stop me.
Scream, they all scream to see
the light coming down to show the way through
looking over your shoulder, I can see the path better than you.

I'm not a hero and I'm not the best
I won't try to help you so give it a rest.
You had an accident, that I can see,
but now you know the one watching is me.
I have the power and I have the cure,
it's here for the taking, come get it, can you?

My tongue is the hero, twisted and rogue you see.
I'm a vigilante force, you can't control me.
Scream, they all scream to me.
The others, they push out but me they want through.
Looking over their shoulders, I save better than you.

Whatever it takes, I will be the greatest,
however it goes, we can know that we made it.
If I do save you, you must endure this.
This is the secret, there's no way to cure it.
Three times the problems, your eyes say, with some moisture,
I kinda like this gig, as thrice times the savior.

My tongue is the paper, blank as can be.
I'm a runaway brain, and nothing can stop me.
Scream, they all scream to see
the light coming down to show the way through
looking over your shoulder, I work better with you.

Higher standard.

Real easy, smilin' behind those Versace shades, huh?
so breezy, walkin' through it all like a king, huh?
Did you forget, or have you never known
A time when your shit was spread so fine.
I'm hangin up with you,
but I do it better than you do.
Can you see why?
These fingers bleed, as I work to die.
You musta forgot what it's like,
but this is the life.
It;s always like this, you can't cut it
'cause this, this is life.
Got what I want, even know what it is,
it's nothing from you, 'cause you life makes me sick.
Fightin' at the bottom, but I got the ball,
you may look down on me, as I watch you fall.
Why kill delusion, when its all that you've got?

*Not sure here....*

It's been five years, since your last simple "hello"
and ever time it felt halfhearted, because you say it and go.
Is it wrong, to think you left something behind?
Am I a fool, because it feels lasting this time?
On the run, under investigation by my own mind,
can't catch me, will you ever stop trying?
No more crimes, no more dead,
I did my time, let me move on again.
In the brief moment, before, the noose felt tight,
I was free as a bird, and I took flight.
It's over and done, I've nowhere else to run now,
So I will take this leap, but don't expect me to hit the ground.

FUDGE.

Don't shock the world by taking off the mask,
because in this time, anonymity is all you have.
You do all your damage without the guns that they use,
They counter with the kryptonite water that leaves you melted and bruised;
Momentary damage control is all you are, so why do they call you hero?
Cant save them, they always crush you, despite the libido.
The songs that matter are rewritten with their names.
You bring yourself to sing along this time,
it's not the way it hurts your mind, its the brain you have to tame,
cause being that pretty baby, should be a crime.
Come out of your space, please show me what I need.
the supply of my crutch-drug is so dangerously thin.
Give me the tools, and I'll make my own home,
high school football could be your claim to fame, and who am I to judge?
it's time to retire a crime fighter; have your cake; eat your fudge.

Black Matter

She stares out of the crowd
silent, as her ears make the only sound.
she's numb to the movements she makes
the sun shining in the blur of faces.
If only they knew just why the pen moves,
why the gun shakes, or how the brain aches.
Looking down, it looks as empty as the sea,
but I keep feeding the fishes, and they feed me.
Give me all I need, but I cant see,
somehow it's not enough to satisfy those needs.
Every inch of my brain, transcribed on the sheet,
flooding out as the liquid, black ink gold.
From me to you, you can never know.