For the first time in so long...

This feels right.

Here's a story.

It's a story of a boy.  And over the course of 5 years he had an idea for a book.  But, did he ever follow through? We'll find out..

Don't fall again.

Welcome home, stranger to life
I got your seat warm under the starlight.
Here's your non candy crutch and a vibe to complete
it's a drag you immediately forget, drowning in the post' sea.
kick back, hit it up, close your eyes and let your mind get rough.
I see some nights, only a few to recall,
everything made me better, or did it just quicken the fall?
lookin up, I got nothin but the best in mind.
from the first for the record, to the last time I tried.
At least two lumps of gold, in the trash i was able to find.
flash forward for a breathful, a gift I can't forget
only to be ruined for the last time in a life.
As if it was yesterday, I used to remember what I wanted
take my breath away, as I remember unexpected.
from day one, I imagined the opposite
looking back, it dropped so fast
it was, after all, disappointing in a flash.
But on the other side, the longest smoke of my life
it started too early, and I choked, gave up without a fight.
forced away I had to drop it, it was ruined on the ground.
left still burning after all this time,
I never even saw it, when I finally finished it off. From afar.
But I got this one, 'cause I'm addicted about now,
and I'm not sure I'll know waht it all means, when I finally come down.

ADUP and the restless non left.

These notes tell a story, don't they?
that I'm everything you never had to feel
and it comes to times like these, what can I say?
I've lost my ammo, just stood me up like everything else I used to feel.
Suppose it erodes the same as everything else
but for sanity's sake, we need help!
Everything we don't get free, we find our way.
Indestructible, we've become, so done being smashed.
I'm sure if I look back, I could always see that light
and, well, sometimes I wish it never crashed.
Though I can't recall what it was like, not to write.
and you know I swear on them all
Armageddon wont stop my shaking right hand.

Humm

How am I supposed to know what to do?

The only time words come out of my mouth is when you're not listening.

I want all that, what they show on tv.

Id like to know what it means to me.

PR+BMs

There aren't enough words to explain how it feels.
Any time, place, moment can be made just right.
It feel like time slows down, almost to a halt.
The instant you inhale it, the instant it enters your veins,
you feel nothing, and everything.
Love comes rushing in from all different angles,
hate bears down on you for the ones who ruin this.
Happiness runs deep because everything seems perfect,
sadness bleeds out because everything is worthless.
Not a word has been spoken, but every word you know enters your head.
Everyone you've met has a seat in the room,
every place you've been has a new meaning to it.
The past that haunts seems just and right.
The future that's scary seems easy and worth the fight.
You feel the sensation in every inch of your soul.
Right about now you feel inspired to make the best better.
A combination so ecstatic it almost seems lethal.
You're piling on, the grave gets deeper.
Yet noone must know, because this happy place is your worst kept secret.
It rushes in like perfection injected straight to your brain,
then you raise the stakes, and get higher than black planes.
Lethal ecstasy as you begin to question being sane,
then your head explodes, sending thoughts more numerous than stars, all over the place.

More than serial.

Some times I feel words so useless.
Then you came along, and my life, you said it perfect.
How do you do it?
and what am I supposed to do when you're gone?
How many times you've saved me,
can we even count, so early on?
You're too good to leave,
or are you nothing at all?
a presence, tainted by company.
It is nature, but I watch as you run from me.
How much love do we have?
how long do we have?
Will one surely suffice, or is it a combo we require?
Is perfection enough? Or do we need chaos to stay alive?
Has it ever been one love? Or rather should we pile on..
until we die?
Some times I felt your time so worthless,
then you showed up, and my life, you set it perfect.

No Ink.

This one's for you, post-rock goddess.
You say what you see is unbelievable,
but what you know is true beyond reason.
All the pictures make you sad, dear,
but fame is in the evil, so walk with your eyes closed
and talk with your mouth shut, because we know these words are useless.
Honey, you say it's all blowing up, and everything is crashing,
and you miss growing up, a smile everlasting.
You opened my eyes, as we opened our mouths,
beauty in evil is the only thing around.
Whether it's believing is disbelief
or the things that make us weep,
the only thing that's saving us
is our own shreds of sanity.
I saw the light, dying as it might,
but it's greater than beauty.
It's just living, for life.

Ecksten

What's better than perfect?
What's more than love?
How do you feel when you see hopes get crushed?
Now's the time to start racing for that goal,
death's not your enemy when it comes to gettin up.
Only one way to live and that's how you see fit.
Even the criticisms don't change you're fix.
On the outside cheated, on the inside screaming,
But when that camera's on only one thing's scenin'
and don't forget the moments where you don't stop thinkin.
Remember those nights, 'cause they ain't comin' back
They fill the pages you write so you owe 'em for that
because all those you loved and all who loved you
they made you who you are, and will to the end.
So when you're on your deathbed if there should be one,
make sure it's all out for everyone to beat on.

not sure why i'm here

It seems what I always wanted may again be the worst thing for me. Confusion sets in.

not sure why i'm here

The best get better.

Hey dude, what are you ragin to?
What are you smokin on?
What's in them cigarillos now?
All I got is the smog that we breathe,
The gas we can't huff cuz it's poluted with the air.
I know the door is just over there,
But I can't see over the crowd of elitists
Running from the end to their ego.
Tell me brother, how do you stay fly?
I know it's in your brain, tucked in the back,
But I lost all I had, now show me why.
All we have is the past, and that's all we'll ever be.
I'm sure you can do it right, so it's all you ever need.

Not a poem, A way of life.

I lied.
I AM better than you.

Through the dome

Stop scratching, clawing at my brain
I feel the pressure on the side of my face.
Every time it clicks inside, I scream to shut it out.
I have no silver to shoot, plague another mind
not one of a kind, sympathetic for any other like me.
so absorbed in yourself so get out of my life!
Please.

New material?

Not like I don't have the time, but I'm busy with shit and shat, so progress is slow. Hopefully that means it's good.
Eagerly awaiting some new jams, maybe they'll provide the inspiration for new styles/other stuff.

Oh, Osker.

One of my favorite songs today.
Enjoy.

Through the strength of your arms, I realized I was off the mark.
All I really wanted was a pair of interested ears.
I learned that for every pause, I was almost guaranteed more time to speak.
It's always the selfish who say that life is way too short.
I'm not looking to get old, but I bet it'll happen anyway.
Now I look at my hands they don't move the same two years ago.
At a slow steady pace, I made my way back home.
At least there I won't be ashamed.
Earlier today I felt the,
the warmth as the skin it held the heat,
and now the city surrounds me in different tones of gray.
Those are the same cries that make my bones shake...
I'm not looking to get old, but I bet it'll happen anyway.
Now I look at my hands they don't move the same two years ago.
I'm alone, but I'm not lonely.
I have kinetic energy.
The dividing line will separate us all.
I'm alone, but I'm not lonely.
I have kinetic energy.
The dividing line won't save you.
Sometimes it's those nights,
where I'm all I have is, really all I need...
Those are the same cries that make my bones shake...
I'm alone, but I'm not lonely.
I have kinetic energy.
The dividing line will separate us all.
I'm alone, but I'm not lonely.
I have kinetic energy.
The dividing line won't separate you.
-Osker(Clickhere)

tenf

Look I wrote something today,
Maybe because I have nothing I can possibly say.
Back with a vengence I couldn't anticipate
I see what you did there, can I blame?
With existence, you brought doubt.
I can't speak from you, I have no mouth.
Filled with your ovaries, I feel less complete.
Please don't tell me what to do for me.
Drag down my significance, trash my world,
Make me believe I can't survive your words.
Maybe I'll be good enough one day
'Cause we're all massochists babe,
That's why we keep living this way,
Take me away.
Make me be saved, slow me down on some Cs.
I should be fighting for this, but I shouldn't lose.
Everything seems like you're ripping me out,
But I guess its the lame of the longest game.
And dominate I will, win is what I will.

What you want, is a lie.

Everything you told me was true
From a certain point of view!

I still can't trust a word you say
I can't trust the person you pretend to be
I know I should have just walked away
Instead of running into the fire to see what I could save.
Stop shooting daggers out your eyes, please
I want to let this go. I want to let it go.
Just because for fine, baby,
Doesn't mean you've got the same hold on me.
Now that I see what you should have said,
I know I could have stopped.
And instead of wasting brain cells on you
Should have blown them away.
Disgusted with the thought of your mind
How did you ever love?
Holding onto what we know is false
I'd still show you what I thought.
So take off that veil baby,
I want to see the truth in your eyes,
I want to close those truthless eyes.

Higher on fire

Stuck livin on the wrong end of a dead-end one way street
Where the only way out is up and away.
How did we get here? And can we be saved?
I'd like to figure out what in life was wasted,
But I'd want to change it, and realize its better that way.
Like sometimes when you wait any day,
with a wish or a working, has it ever been worth it?
If nothing is perfect, can they be declared the best?
Only in our minds, where its best for us all.

Just like them

I wasn't one for greatness, though I tried all the same
We weren't ones for everything, but all you had you gave.
A few rungs up we lived, what seemed like the top of the world
Every year it was better, but time would take its turn.
I guess I should have listened to someone, and not rushed out.
I suppose I should go back in time to smack myself around.
My greatness came and went, just like everything else.
I can look back now, and know that I wouldn't change the surrounding.
I guess its what happens, and you get up and keep going.
The only hope for life I have, is to re-live that life by showing.
No matter what it takes, I'm bringing greatness back.
Even if it takes my life away, I think I can handle that.
I'm going to do what I've got to, to live it out again,
And give all I've got to give, just like them.

On our way

Watch it crumble, but what can you do?
It seems that everything is falling
deeper down the hole.
What can be done? Society is a joke.
Humanity doesn't exist to anyone,
And the universe is gone.
We can all see the bad, is there any good?
it all may not end, but its dying just as well.

We're on our way,
And we'll be there soon.
Its a one way ticket,
And they're taking you.
There's no way off,
This train of doom.
We're on our way,
We'll see hell soon.

All we can do is look past what we see.
As impossible as it may seem.
Give me the time I need, I'll make it okay.
Let my mind wander, get the good with the bad.
Daydream more than night, live a life inside it.
Do what you want, baby, because we all must save us.

A life with meaning

Just for a moment, think about what you've done.
If we were the only ones in this verse,
Would that make it better or worse?
You search for the meaning to all of this
But I knew it all along.
Teaching unselfishness, humility,
Why won't you learn?
Would it make your dreams true?
Too bad you'll never know.

Maybe you think too much, baby
Or maybe you don't think enough.
What good is that brain if you never use it?
You'll become them, that shit.
Whether it's too much or not,
We know they don't have enough.
It won't last so do the life thing.
As meaningful your thursday fling.

In the past we live, under this veil called the present,
Nothing's gunna change that, something to regret.
You're life is seedy but it can be great too
Either way, is it worth living for anyone but you?
The only way to live, if you don't want to stall
Just make sure you're fighting for it all.
Born to leave, but not for me
While we die, we have a mission to complete.

Maybe you think too much, baby
Or maybe you don't think enough.
What good is that brain if you never use it?
You'll become them, that shit.
Whether it's too much or not,
We know they don't have enough.
It won't last so do the life thing.
As meaningful as a thursday fling.

Have you ever had a thought in your head
That at the time it didn't make much sense.
Then one day it came out out loud,
Through someone elses mouth.
Maybe then you'll see my no sided coin,
With both sides of yours burnt into one.
What's more, the beauty or the depressing?
You can't go back, so might as well move forward.

Love like an avulsion.

Have some stuff to post, anyone care? ;)

Everything I love, I hate.

Only a familiar sound could wake me from the dead
But when I heard it it didn't save me like it'd said.
It was the best I'd seen since my 8th straight year.
It was the saddest I'd been since had this cheer.
Daylight bright, I know what is happening,
But its the dead of night and I can't do any saving.
I'm being pulled by two weights, in opposite directions,
I hadn't felt this bad, even when you had my affection.
As much as I'm lifted up, I'm three times as slammed down.
I'm transported back to that day, when I was to be saved by being drowned.
Haven't thought of that night with you both in such a long time,
But I guess it was bound to happen since I've lived this lie.
It could be the saddest night of my life so far,
But it gave birth to a few things, I hope will return me to par.
I never felt so alone as a flop floating through space
With an even more lifeless enemy at my side, like a straight race.
This is war, and I'm frontin' on the frontline.
Awe struck from the horror, but the horror is mine.
I'm fighting for both sides and I cannot move. .
These drops on my glasses till me I'm going to lose.

I almost touched the top, a second later I was at the bottom.

Here I stand on the rooftop, 40 stories up.
I stare into the vaguely orange sky, with the rain blasting my eyes.
Without even a blink, do I show life outside my brain?
So much activity I have to remember to breath.
I'm on the edge, and for the last 10 minutes, probably dead.
I look down to see the life below, mostly black.
I blink, and only now can I see the earth.
Attacking me like a hungry dog, I should be looking at the sky.
Before my second blink I'm face down on the ground,
I feel that I'm still alive, or maybe it's just an illusion inside my own delusion.
I can feel the earth moving beneath me, I can hear the screams around me.
I can't move, I can't breath, can't blink, but I can see.
They want to save me, I want to scream "No."
But no matter how loud my thoughts scream, my brain is on the road.

More than love.

It’s days like these that remind me why I’m alive.
Why I took the first knife to my lungs.
When learning how to live doesn’t seem as important.
It’s days like these when I realize why I fight for everything,
and you fight for nothing.
They come from nights like those, that are over before they start.
When this fucked up world seems normal for a moment.
When I’m reminded to do everything like I’m fighting for something.
It’s nights like those that show what the future holds.
When I fade into darkness, and choose to feel no brain.
When all of the pain seems wroth it, and hitting the ground seems worthless.

There is no happy without sad. No beauty without depression.

lye

I can't reach the sky
I want to hear you lie
Tell me everything's alright
Make me believe I can fly.
You're up above the clouds
And I know you can't look down
But you can still bring me up
Can I just please give it up.
Why don't you just string me along?
Why don't you just use me for fun?
Act yourself and treat me so
Bring me up even to just let go.
Why don't you want to watch me fall?
Why don't you want to live at all?

pma

A few miles north of here I once met a boy,
Kinda stupid and blind but he was happy anyway.
He had all he needed, and what he wanted was not easy.
Never seeing all of it, though he loved it everyday.
To a northside boy named Glen, my idol,
I can only think of how you went, so tragic.
Seems like it hasn't rained at night, since you went missing.
All we have are memories of you, and the inspiration you have given
To new boys like Matty here, as he sits back and wishes.
Matty doesn't get it all, though the necessities he finds.
I sometimes see him working hard, only to see it crumble in dust.
its clear that he has what he needs, underneath the debts to the world,
He may never pay back. Every idea he has, seems to be destroyed by the rust.
He may not have a dime, he may not have his play,
But one thing to love about him, he loves it all anyway.

Awaiting the Mossad

My amygdala's engaging, I can't stop it now.
My heart's avulsion has only made things worse.
I still feel that pain, but I'm numb to the things you say.
But everything else hits me like a haymaker from Ali.
Shoot with the cane Candy and let's do this again,
'Cause you scare me anytime you're acting sane.
Can't you read your name in the track marks
And the three holes in my chest, gateways to my past life?
My last pair of braincells tell me you don't mean it,
The void says Bikini Atoll would be the perfect vaction,
Away from you.

I may have just found my sanity...

Welcome back.

Oh, your opinion, how we hang on every syllable

I woke up this morning on the wrong side of my bed
Everything looked so strange like seeing through the backside of my head.
I can't read anything, the letters all look so strange
But I can tell one thing and that's that life still hasn't changed.
Last night everything was attacking like a riot in Birmingham
I stood up to fight when I shoulda tucked around and ran.
But when the rage came down you didn't seem to care.
So used to it I guess, when it hits you everywhere.
I have to say it hurt to see you convulsing on the floor
Especially because I knew you only wanted more.
The bat fell down as I was shocked at the bunce,
And I couldn't bring myself to kick you more than once.
One day you'll wake up, outside the comfort of your world
And you just might realize how necessary these emotions are.
Only then, will you grasp, why I am who I am.
Use your brain, and you might understand.

Guest work day.

Sex and violence has lost it's charm
I need something to amuse
War is boring, it's not enough
I need a shock down to my shoes
Pedophile lust, tortured blood in the dust
Take all you can
As long as it's on a TV screen
Keep it away from my house, man
I'm long gone, I'm long gone, I'm long gone

My senses are burned to the core
So fuck me hard, I'll still want more
Sedation, now, is what I need
So I don't have to live with me
Slavery is still alive

Somebody's prayin'
Take anything you want
Just don't show me who I am

Sedate me with anything
So I don't have to live with me
Tell me, tell me that I'm free
Kill me with everything
Until there's nothing left of me
Tell me, tell me that I'm free
Gimme some gasoline
Gimme some gasoline

The beginning of this new time
Is coming to an end
We have run from all our ills
But we won't run again
Toxic meat, political deceit
Medicate me till I'm dead
And I'll take life from your can
Just don't show me who I am

Sedate me with anything
So I don't have to live with me
Tell me, tell me that I'm free
Kill me with everything
Until there's nothing left of me
Tell me, tell me that I'm free
Gimme some gasoline
Gimme some gasoline
Gimme some gasoline
Gimme some gasoline
Gimme some gasoline
Gimme some gasoline

Sedate me with anything
So I don't have to live with me
Tell me, tell me that I'm free
Kill me with everything
Until there's nothing left of me
Tell me, tell me that I'm free

Tell me, tell me that I'm free
(Gimme some gasoline)

-TBS

It'll be so long

We say so long
In the last moment we see each other
We don't know what it means
But we may assume we'll meet again.
Only when the sun sleeps, do we really come out and play,
But it was the awakening of it in which we had grown.
If you asked me if we'd be here now, I would never have known,
But now I can watch it shuting down, now we're both on our own.

Once upon a time we were one in the same,
But about now we can't even see the road.
I never knew that we were dead,
I could never tell that you were gone.
We can live in the rain if you want to
You can live forever, if it suits you.

About last night...

I noticed a little slide in quality. With the twists and turns of life, the ups and downs of the days. The less and less of the money. Inspiration is at a low as focus is on succeeding.
Succeeding in life is being happy.
Happy is making money and having fun.
The writing will come naturally.

To all who are reading this:
I may not know you are, but I love you for it. The support is appreciated more than you know.

Dead world. Living inhabitants.

Its a very very mad world
The law is vast and far reaching
The wars are over, and everything is right.
Technology is everything, reality is a blur.
Procreation and death are both impossible in all places.
The world is at a stand still,
nothing is ever erased,
Nothing is ever new,
Nothing is ever replaced.
The apocalypse has hit, but noone has since died.
It's hell on earth, we need some genocide.
Because the earth is sinking,
And we will feel the pain, but none of us can die.

It's a legocide

I hold in my hand a weapon.
While it may kill, it also leads others to kill.
This weapon of mine, it's killed millions, while killing noone.
It manipulates the human mind,
Making people do crazy things to conquer it.
With it, power is given.
Without it, you're helpless to incoming fire.
For many years people have been fighting to aquire it,
The secret weapon of mass corruption.
Many have died for it.
And a fucking vending machine just stole it from me.

Hell is...'perfect'

What if beauty wasn't so depressing?
What if imagination wasn't the basis of all fear?
If we all knew it all, could you live with that?
There are no more variables, no audible questions.
No chances, no surprises, and no problems unsolved.
But the truth can be the worst thing your mind can't unsee.
All you know is truth, so imagination has died.
You sit back and watch what you saw in your dreams unfold,
Make a change and all else is forgetten, so did you change anything at all?
We'd all love to know, but would hate to remember,
What life has in store for us, just around the corner.

Brains like gallows

Where did you go,
When I lost my mind and drowned in the snow?
Everything I knew was gone, lost everything I'd become.
I ran away from fights I woulda won
But in the end its not just me lookin like the dumb one.
I left it fast, and kicked it down, everything else was fake,
my ship set sail but still tied down by the ocean breaks.
Against what the book said, I'm all in, its anchors away,
Promise I'll be here again, at a later date.
I tried to live the life like OJ, but just left me longer free fallin
I threw the fire down, but it flares up as I'm stallin.
Memories take the backseat, I'll drive, I know around this place.
You don't have the facts to make me go your way.

When a man loves a basketball team...

Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;

As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.

There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.

You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.

You have given so much and deserve so much more.

In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:

"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE"

You can take it to the bank.

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.

Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

Sorry, but that's simply not how it works.

This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown "chosen one" sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And "who" we would want them to grow-up to become.

But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "curse" on Cleveland, Ohio.

The self-declared former "King" will be taking the "curse" with him down south. And until he does "right" by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

Just watch.

Sleep well, Cleveland.

Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day....

I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:

DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue....





Dan Gilbert
Majority Owner
Cleveland Cavaliers

There's only one way to describe it, x7en.

I was gunna post somethin today, unfortunately my phone went all Suicidie and it was saved on there... Maybe later.

whatever I got.

There's only one sunrise
and only one sunset.
Only one life to see
but a million different ways to be.
i know you want to be a pearlescent being
but dressed in platold armor you can't live, just see.
All the different paths this delta gives
they branch, intersect, but lead to the same place
a different grave, just as deep.
I wont lie, i see the ocean in your eyes
I hear the waves in your voice, and feel the paths to take.
You're flying down the river, no paddle nor boat to save you,
I can look up and ask, but I cant save you now.
My sail is the judge, and the wind the executioner.

Suicidal serenades

There's 2 sides to everything
I re-learn that everyday
Its like we think we know
But of course we don't
We're never gunna let it go,
Let it overflow,
Teach us how the world aught to go,
Let's see what the other side does show
Nothin resembling the lives we've sewn
The lives we know
Seeing the otherside just let's it blow
Outa my mind I feel so, whoa.
Everyone around, they just don't know
All wanna be in the sights of the bow
Lookin into the headlights like a deadmeat doe
Always wanna see what the other side does show
You best believe me, we should never let this go.

Its so expendable, its so important
Its the longest thing you'll ever do, but its so short
Try to experience everything, you'll feel remorse
And once we near the end, what was it for?

You can spend so much time
Lookin for just the right rhyme
Even use the same word a few times
But you know its gunna get pushed aside
After you write it, is that a waste of life?
Should we try to leave behind evidence of our minds?
Or should we fade away with lights
As if we're all gunna take flight.
Everything we do, we do for us, right?
How many times do you think about the futures plight
The futures fight.
I want this on the walls and want it in the sky,
If I'm not gunna be here I wanna show I was alive.

Its so expendable, its so important
Its the longest thing you'll ever do, but its so short
Try to experience everything, you'll feel remorse
And once we near the end, what was it for?

So take my life iin this pen, smash it, dash and repent
Cuz from my mind it was sent, to be here after I've went.
Nothin else will stay far behind, everything I own is just lent
And when I'm gone you will see, what I had to pay just to rent.
Its just as simple as that, nothin with you will go, gents
You'll get there and your mind will be straight bent
Taken away, lost in nothingness, leaving an empty tent
But maybe, just maybe, your mind pays the rent
On a new body and life, just no memories of the past you left
But maybe you'll know, if you made a big enough dent.

Its so expendable, its so important
Its the longest thing you'll ever do, but its so short
Try to experience everything, you'll feel remorse
And once we near the end, what was it for?

Smile! It's your last chance.

1 more step for my mankind.
The longer the better,take a night to picture life.
Take my time to turnover my whole side
Try not to lose all you know it one night.
2 times no weather could stop us, no way, no how.
We had packages to deliver, we pushed through and they're out now
3 minds that didn't even notice the sky,
just the darkness inside the light on my side.
I made 'grey matter' to kick my novo life just right
4 Eyes stuck to the stars as my mind is beside me,
Who knew they once spelled 'impossible', could it be?
5 gears to run a young life risking it all.
But did I care? I think I liked it that way, cuz I got no gripe, watch me fall.

Can you handle perfect?

I once met a man who lived in his hands
on the side of the road, next to the darkest of alleyways.
Down about the crumbling and death,
he saw that the end was nigh, I showed him his own lie.
When everything terrible has a flip-side that is anything but,
the sorrow of one should be the same man's pick me up.
Everything can be perfect, everything can be righteous.
It's all up to us, to believe in the beauty of life.

There is nothing bad in this world, but the human spirit turned wrong.
with fists to the sky, we can still see the perfection we live in.
We're off with new found ideals to try,
with an open mind, we can live happy 100% of the time.

On the F train I saw a familiar face, living out his Saturday,
living in his hands again, he asked "can any of us be saved?"
What once was beautiful was gone in a flash,
what you cannot hold, will not hold effect to last.
"I could not keep it, I was sad to see it go."
I guess he had a point, but it's the stream he didn't know.
There's more than enough to go around, glance and let it flow.
It will be in your head as long as you need, keep it and move on for more.

Stay away from the live ones, most are a human spirit past expiration.
A dead man on the street can hold more beauty than the trees,
we can see the perfection we die with.
We're off with tools to save our lives.
with an open mind, we can live happy 100% of the time.

A man once found me, living in my hands
on the top of a roof, with a shattered 35 twenty stories below.
My eyes and heart became depressed from all they will miss.
The overload of perfection, can not possibly be seen in two lifetimes.
Things you'll never get to visualize, your eyes long to see,
and things you'll never feel on repeat, your heart longs to beat.
The man said he'd heard it all before and had the cure,
he handed me a notebook, and disappeared from the earth.

Don't hear from your mind, it only wants to shut you down
red is the color of life, trust it with all you have.
Things, people, feelings, sights, too many to experience,
There is more beauty than stars, and limited space to store
keep the important ones. Roll with the perfection, let it flow.

airborne mini-dirt

Awaken in a daze
This can't be real. it can't be time,
Just last night I had so much.
I hear the same lullabies I call mine.
I guess its just one of those days.
I guess I was knocked out with pain.

Every little word I'll write
Can seem so insignificant to all who know
All the great lines, I heard last night
If I had the time, I wouldn't have to go
Because we all have our own meaning of life.
The greatest people I will ever know
Etched in the stone in my chest called a heart
They all know how to live their life.
the ones I love, know what its like.

a day in the life

wake up shaking, slowly recognize what day it is
Don't have to worry about what to eat,
I got the store right here, got all I need.
Nothing but the counter and breakfast soup to ready me up,
Once I press play, the day begins, and its time to run.
As the clock strikes 8 I'm bout back again,
Time to get down to business, dirty work don't clean itself.
By 10 o'clock the deeds are done and I'm in dire need,
Grab a smoke in the shower cuz life never ends while you're breathing in.
Its about time to fire up the machines,
get the work done that my mind desprately needs.
Grab another drink from the fridge and dive into the 6 string.
Nows time for whatever, till I turn into the chef.
Get grubbin, scrubbin, and back to the fame.
Whether I'm one or two, it's usually the same,
Till I hit the bricks, and work once again.
Time to hit the hay, and pause till the start of the next day.

The day after the end of days

do you ever feel like you could fall dead on the street,
and just not care?
do you ever feel like you have everything you need,
and getting anything else would be unfair?
no, you dont, because you always want more.
But you got one wish, youve got the thing you always wanted.
you only got it once, now youre forbidden again.
but you'll still be happy, 'cause you've got all you need.
These are your first thoughts after you take what you want,
just before you wake.

B-U-T

Falling down with the trees
with a deafening sound
and everyone seems shocked, as they hit so loud.
There's mediocrity springing up from the groind
while the ones we all notice, the beauties in the sky,
come crashing down and catch the eye,
but not the rise.
We don't need more, just to use what we have
but often we forget we have anything at all.
There's no rest for the wicked
and even less for the happy;
As they time clock keeps ticking
it's an eternal rest we're all really seeking.

niagareven

I think back to the nights that stars showed the way
two nights where the cd never sounded the same
May be my favorite, but i cant hear the words i translate
all the pain in the world would be worth the perfect day.
like the beauty in lightning, never mirrored, just replaced.
Nothing up above, does not show so called fate.
out front the lights are off, im not waiting, not expecting.
Watching, feelings, hearing memories and machines, living like it's their last
they race by so fast, just like our past.
The first of rainbows, like the 4th of the months,
i should have noticed it was here, shot it down as it left
but the twenty-twenty gauge, again failed to kill the bests.

Wow it's been a while...

I'll be back shortly... working on a few things..

Washed away with the wars, no more teflon on my star, no more kevlar on my scars, not even Krav Maga defense from you; But I found what's worth fighting for.

Anyway but breathing.

Freedom, one day we may just see that.
everyday is a battle, do we stay or do we go?
if half of something is good, the other lackluster,
what do you choose? And if you leave, can you ever really go back?
Once we've left, can we ever get back?
one day we'll know, till then, we jump.

So sick so sick so sick of

The funny thing about life and this world is, by the time its time for me and my generation to die, this world will be so deteriorated that we won't mind. Feared no more. Instead, we're here living our lives as we're supposed to. (most of us anyway).
The things we deal with and worry about are so trivial. And, in all likely hood, a majority of us waste our lives believing something that is completely fake and wrong. But we don't care. We believe what we believe, because of the lack of absolute truth in the world, this is how we'll go.

140, two-a-day's.

Can you hear it? The breakdown of society.
Can you stand it? The crumbling of everything.
I can smell it, the death of art and logic.
World wide ignorance saves valuable thought energy.
I can only walk away if you will let me,
obsessive, compulsive, technodependent, anergy
Can you tell me, are you still with me?
I feel the world turning, I feel the brain working,
Can you feel at all? Can you feel anything?
I can use my ESP I watch the world reverse turning
upside down, inside out, however you look at it,
this is our turn around, our realistic salvation.

I'm still seeing the stars '

You can't go crazy for six whole days
And it can take a lifetime to win the game
But the reason you stay is all the same
The meaning we look for when we all play.

I'd tell you to run but I know it hurts you
Can you believe you've done it anyway?
Noone around can see that they've killed you
There's only one way to avenge yourself.
Revenge is your dish, you decide what's in store
And they'll never know, you're insane for knocking on that door
They watched you wait, as noone answered
They felt your sadness, you packed up to be here.

I'd tell you to jump, but I don't know where you'd land
You swallowed the gun, your past is what you shot at
Ship out it all, for government property
We'll fix you all, no matter what your disease.

As I sat back and watched you walk down the road
I never thought I'd see you there, never thought itd be this cold.
Every eye in world latched on to you now
Can you show them why, can you show them how?
I watched you paint the sky with hatred and anger
I watched a couples videos in a commercial break
But I brought me in, that show would never end.

I'd tell you to stop but I don't know what's chasing you
I haven't been through it all, not nearly as much as you
You hold up so strong, as they all throw a stone or two.
I never caught up to that fastball that you threw.

Its the end of the world, I see it
Your bloody, beaten, battered, crushed, thrown on the floor
I see your puncture wounds yet you refuse to die
And I can hear your last words, pick out every lie.
I left you laying there, I'll help you later.
When you look back you'll see why you made it.

Oh, More Fees Zoey?

I know the leader Ewe
others like to follow, but I never was.
But I'll take my time, sign on the dotted line
so I'll forever be with you.
My ink runs right through.

If there was a flight on which I could never sleep,
it would be the last time I take off from the country.
I'm starting to think they got it right,
and if fate wasn't BS I might believe my eyes.
It's true we all need a pair fighting on our side
to help us through the pain we daily see.
For once I can get it right
by getting it wrong and letting me sleep.

One day we'll look back see the better days,
we'll see they weren't what we planned;
why do we plan? When it's always a pleasant surprise.
For you and I, surprise, we'll survive.

You are now arriving in Jordan. Enjoy your stay.

So I know that many of you who frequent this blog already know who I am. For those people, and those who randomly stumble upon this page somehow, here's a chance for you to really find out more about me. Hopefully some of you may enjoy it; actually read it. I'm a simple guy. I feel like my values and morals belong decades in the past. Most important of all is I follow my own views. I am not a follower of anyone else's ideas or views. The time to explain them, will be reserved for another time, over time. I'm constantly adding ideals and views to my repertoire of values, so they must be unravelled over time. As far as 'religion' goes, I have my own ideas about God(s) and things of that sort. I won't bash anyone else's beliefs on religion, but I will laugh at you for your ignorance in the matter. Not ignorance like: you believe in life after death and I think that is stupid, ignorance like: not knowing the basis of your religion and claiming to. Enough on that. I enjoy long walks on the beach, Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. I'm not into yoga, and I have half-a-brain. Just half. I like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape. I'm the guy you've looked for, write to me, and escape. Seriously though, late 70's pop culture aside, though I do enjoy the rain, music and art in general are my thing. 'Art' is so broad, but I don't mind that at all. Music, movies(film), books, pictures, paintings, the list goes on, and they're all so wonderful in there own way, aren't they? As you may know by reading previous entries, I enjoy the poetry/song type of writing. While I would love to write numerous songs and hope for a good reception, I think I would rather write, and direct, a great movie. A nice little indie film, with some good reception. Enough about goals I will never achieve. As terrible as it is, technology is a wonderful thing. Do it right and it can be quite amazing. Science as well. I have this insatiable urge to help people. When you spend enough time on the internet, you lose sight of how many good people there actually are in this world. Aside from technology, science and art, what else is there in this world? Sports that's what (Culture too but we can tackle that later). I don't need to tell you how kick-ass sports are, but that's not the point anyway. I was born in a little town outside of Cleveland, Ohio. As a result, Cleveland sports teams have been engrained in my brain and remain favorites. Since I do not live in the 40's, 50's and 60's, it's pretty grim as a Cleveland fan. But I love it. I have another fixation for working out and exercise, so sports are always a favorite. Uh, I'm lost on what else to say, the complex labyrinth that is my brain has got me lost again. Till next time, enjoy your stay.

Fuck [theync]

I /r/ your name and sight
Hoping to find what to do tonight.
The clubs are dead and the scene deleted
So I guess the nightlife was with it, depleted.
You got rule 34'd and still stand your ground
Take it easy, in a few weeks we fight the world, tear it down.
It won't fight back, its stuck on itself
And we'll slide right in, destroy it with some help.
'Cause I'm an addict, an atom bomb
Set, primed, ready to blow.
Tear it down with me, it deserves to go.
Noone else would do this, it deserves to know.

We built time machines to save the world,
But did we only end up making it worse?
We tried, and that counts to us,
But the overseeing mules see only the worst.
Do they help, do they care?
About money and greed.
The people out here they mean nothing.
And while our fight means nothing,
While we have this breath in our lungs,
We'll know that we won, we'll know that we're done.

Two lawn chairs, two beers, one apocalypse.

Once and only once, when the sky is of fire
we can kick back and see and say goodbye.
The earth might shake, the thunder might break,
but from light years away, it's best to watch.
Watch it crumble, watch it blow
as everything you hate is fucked to bits.
buildings once stood tall, now laugh as they fall.
America's ego cities are particularly fun to crawl.
maybe if we're lucky, we can catch one final ignorant cry,
maybe if we plan it right, we can almost hear it die.
Third rock reduced to nothing, in the blink of an eye.
Destroyed itself, destroyed from the heavens.
1000 years of peace? Not now, not never;
I guess it's time he got even, broken promises noone will notice.
From this ball it all looks so fucked.
From this rock, the cycle starts again.

You and I, 'till the non-existent end.

I guess you could say we're in this together
Though we see one work and one rest.
I suppose you could say we're here for each other.
Though in 4 years you haven't done shit for me and I'm hear 'cause of you.
We're alone 4 years and I don't even know who you are
So silent, so cold, so mannequin-esque
I can't even tell if you have a heart in that chest.
We're on an endless slide of pain, but you're not.
You're so fearless,4 years later, still nonchalant

Imagine this:
Spending forever in a black heaven
With a life that's neverending.
Alone or a two person solitaire.
Still conversation come at random.

I don't think we could end it if we tried.
We reside in a heaven-like hell
And we're tied together so you'll never get away.
I could hate you, I could love you, I can't tell,
Maybe I'll find out if we ever see another day.
Hell is so beautiful when you're not bein' burned
But so quiet I may have gone deaf,
Or it's something in that air.
We're on a crash course, one way to nothingness.
4 years and nothin' but bumps in this road,
It's just amazing we haven't died, 'cause we're doomed.
But that's just it, we'll never die, and that's the pain for you and I.
4 years in a heaven-like hell, only millions more to go.

Ima sit back and watch, 'cause I don't care.

Random title, yes.  In any case, this post might be long, it might not.  Just gunna say whatever needs to be said?  Does anything ever NEED to be said?  And how often are those things heard?  Whatever the case, things will be said.  To start, is there a REASON I'm writing this?  Really, there are some that believe everything happens for a reason, is this happening for a reason?  1 and 1 is not yet 5, so I think you can understand where I stand on that (if you caught the Bad Religion reference.)  If that were to truly be the case, what's the point in living?  If everything is predetermined what's the point?  Why am I asking so many questions if they won't get answered?  Who knows?!  Much of the things we know and believe are so fake and mystical, but we still bank on them don't we?  One may or may not believe in any one of these things, and they may or may not be real.  Until there is any PROOF of any of those, they are non-existent are they not?  Or are they in existence 'til proven fake?  A prime example is wishes.  We all do it.  We wish for things and circumstances to work out, but for what?  Time travel, what a wish that is isn't it?  But it's that idea, of being able to turn back the clock and correct the wrongs we've made.  A very enticing possibility is it not?  More so, I think, is the possibility of the parallel dimensions.  Think about it, being able to wander to and fro between dimensions, each having a different circumstance to do with your life.  Do something in one and realize and live with the consequences, and do something else in another.  Grand idea is it not?  Instead, there's those times where we sit idly by and watch things happen, not acting upon the belief the risk is greater than the reward.  Wondering what could have, or should have(?) been.  Somewhere along the line, shortly after we gain our consciousness, we develop these human instincts and mindsets.  The type that make us believe death is terrible, taking risks is not worth it and conforming to society is what you should do.  Fit in, they tell you.  And fit in, you do.  Ever since your life started, you've done as they say.  But have you ever tried to recall when it actually started?  We're alive in the womb, but do we recall any of this?  Is this truly where our lives started or is it when you begin to communicate with others?  Possibly so.  Now I know this is all random, but I really don't care, just so ya know =)}.  As mentioned previously, we can figure that death is the end of the line.  And if it's not, we should be hoping it is.  By this I'm talkin' about heaven and hell.  Is there anyone even IN heaven?  If you believe that, you have to be a damn 'perfect' person to get there.  Is that even possible?  That's for you to decide, 'cause I'm not going to try and tell you, 'cause you won't listen.  And in this case, rightfully so.  I'm not going to tell you you're wrong, no matter what you believe, because you're not.  In this case anyway.  But, alas, our society is not that way.  In a downward spiral of human mentality, it's not going to get any better.  A selfish know-it-all attitude permeates their minds, doesn't it?  Anyone who doesn't think like you is wrong, anyone who thinks any differently is wrong, and definitely below you, right?  Nazi.  There's all these things, /green/ companies making a difference, but that's only half the problem.  Unless there's no other options,  these things will not succeed.  And why ARE there other options?  If something is so innovative and /green/ why are they not standard?  Until then, there really is no hope.  And again, that's only half of it.  You cannot change millions of peoples minds, especially when they're passing these mindsets on to younger generations.  Many reasons not to want to raise a child in this world right?  Many reasons we almost wish this 2012 BS was true, right?  I can't wait to live on Mars, this worlds too far gone.  And now I'm bored, end of post.  

Death, my secret lover in disguise.

After the huge and utter epic fail that was and is the chat box (see it over there? > Almost empty?) I decided that I should enlighten whoever actually reads this, as well as distract myself from my sleeplessness. As I (along with approximately 19 million americans?) Fight a seesaw battle with what in my estimation is depression, I get to thinking a lot more than usual. If you know me you know how nearly impossible that is. I'm talkin real deep thought that I get lost in, not just... Thinking, but I digress. The subject on mine and in the back of everyones mind, but not on it for most people, happens to be death. Meeting death is something many people, with the exception of Peter Griffen, fear. But why? When you think about it, is there realy anything to fear? Its not the fact of being dead that scares us, its losing the things and people we love forever that does. These things we've spent our whole lives with, doing, learning about, then having them taken away. When we have a near death experience, those things come to mind immediately. We think something along the lines of "Oh shit, I'll never see my loved ones again." When you sit down and think about the world, should you really fear death? A world that is on an amazingly fast downward spiral, would really be missed that much? No. But that is not what comes to mind. The fearless (and suicidal) think "Oh well at all that bad shit is over with." Are they wrong to think this? They're making it easy for themselves. Is that wrong? A better question would be, does it matter? Take a fatal car crash for example. During which they say (and I've experienced (not the fatal part but the crash part)) that everything happens in slow motion because of the adrenaline or some BS. Whatever the reason, for that split second that seems to take forever, you're either going to be afraid to die, or not. When that second is over, and you are dead, it doesn't matter anymore does it? Your consciousness that you gained somwhere along the line (this will be explored later) is over. You won't even know that you're dead. Any pain that would have happened, gone. So is there really anything to fear? It's going to happen, is worrying about it wasting your life away? I don't think we will ever understand what happens when we take that final nap. How can anything happen at all? The conscious mind that you have is up in your brain. Without that, you are not you. There have been many people who have been dead, but brought back to life. Stories of people flat lining and being recusitated minutes later. Do they remember anything? Were they ripped away from heaven when they were revived? There's many sides to this coin, all questions that won't be answered and we're wasting our time asking. There could very well be no meaning to life. The universe is infact endless. And when you die, you won't even notice. That's what life is for, to notice and to enjoy. Love the ones you hold dear with everything you have, and don't waste your time on the ones that aren't worth it.

I still miss John Ritter.

I once had the best feeling in the world.
every 6 am Id wake and take;
two wheels to freedom, 6 miles from home.
passed the pain and welcoming more,
the same soundtrack 68 days a lifetime
the best feeling in the world, was briefly mine. 
It's easy to look back and see,
the morning air, the cool air, out of character
I only needed two legs and 16 songs to get me around the horn. 
In between breakdowns and crashes 
I felt on top of the world, 
but I gave it up in search of a better life.
A better life I had, and needed nothing more,
and one more year, seems somewhat pointless at this time.
Through all it gave me, I still want those 2 months back;
with a dash of my dropped 10. 

a playlist on repeat

As a misguided youth, I'm younger than I feel.
Every one and thing in this hallway, doesn't seem real.
Oh it all makes sense, every line is less of a deal.
Everyones run out of breath and their fingers bleed,
But they're someone else so 'what does it matter to me?'
Noones the saint they pretend to be,
They just hope the other side noone will see.

Live it up kids, cuz once its done everyone is gone
Don't fuck up kids, cuz a lesson might get learned.
Live it up kids, after class you get to leave,
As everyone else. You'll be lonier than God,
If you can believe.

We'll look back and see we were worse than disco
As one mindset generation, we gotta let it go.
Egos fight egos over something trivial in even a virtual world
Don't realize they're the same, just a different face for each girl.
But we can't step outside long enough
To hear another side of the same story
Just cuz it has a different name,
Noone cares in this me first game.

Live it up kids, cuz once its done everyone is gone
Don't fuck up kids, cuz a lesson might get learned.
Live it up kids, after class you get to leave,
As everyone else. You'll be lonier than God,
If you can believe.

what a pile, from the outside.

We all knew her name, Azempri, of high school slut fame.   
noone ever called her out, she was the only one who sent the invites
what little she spoke, every word a lie, to make herself seem less lame
she always had it hard, but needing to oneup everyone elses lives.
Always wanting to fit in, always wanting to be perfect,
slowing down finally seemed somewhat worth it.
she spent the nights away, with concious dreams of her favorite drugs
all of the ones shes missing out on, how she's missing all the fun.
beaten, bashed and shattered brain
falling down never seemed so sane.
her only reality could be found on TV
as it provides the best conversation she can feel.

Where do you go, when your only friend is your own?
Too much a reject for oz, too addicted for wonderland.
when every day you feel the pain all around,
you havent slept for days, and your favorite fun is so bland.
on the outside, watching yourself sleep away
thinking of dreaming of wasting the day.
can you save her soul friends?
do the damned have souls to mend?
I wrote it on the wall for her, outside of all her doors
"do everything like you've got something to fight for"

She alone, living in parallel just outside of hell
she screams "it's worse, but im immortal while you all survive"
I want to save her, id sacrifice myself
I want to save her life, but she is not alive.
she watches herself, she knows herself
but her whole life is a lie, and she dies when i die.

this one too..

Do you remember when we wrecked the halls?
Tore down the hotels and watched the future fall?
Remember watching the class rule
Well we didn't care because we ruled too.
With a death wish we set out at all hours
Nothing legal we lived because we could

Where did we go?
When did we go?
The times we felt alone
Did it ever hurt till now?
We lied to ourselves
But was it so bad?
Because we once lived
And now we don't know how

Remember when we partied like it was our last
And it seemed like it was cuz friends are gone in a flash
Everything we did, we did for love
And work, we didn't know how
We found every way around town.
Remember when our feet had the most miles?
Nowhere was off limits cuz we claimed to be a child.

Where did we go?
When did we go?
The times we felt alone
Did it ever hurt till now?
We lied to ourselves
But was it so bad?
Because we once lived
And now we don't know how

not sure if this was posted yet, so here they are:

Just when you've seen it all
The atrocities of the world come crash down on you
Justr when you've seen it all
Tragedy strikes you, don't know what to do

Desensitized by media airwaves
We never visit their graves
Because we see death as commonplace
But just when it hits home
Then everyone will know
The beauty on tv is all the lies
We are desensitized

Here johnny watches a movie
At the age of about 3
And sees a big hero, rambo.
Through a life of the movie
A shut in he would be
Spoon fed lies he doesn't realize.
Sets off to war, to end the fight alone
Quickly sees he is no rambo.
Keep up your self wits
Or lose your head right quick
You came here with a job to do.
But once he panics and hesitates to cover fire
he and his regiment all burn first.

No body likes an ego
Walkin around in a persons body
You're too big to fit that skin you
Don to fit in, you are just a nobody.

In a perfect world your ego wouldn't fit.
In a perfect world there'd be no arrogance.
In a perfect world we wouldn't profit from lives.
In a perfect world the ones we trust would not lie.

I am:

Sofa King

BORED

That perfect expression...

Someone, somewhere, contributed to the ever growing list of words in the current language that had been established by a group of individuals.

This one person, invented a perfect word to exemplify so many feelings in one convenient word, which is a good and a bad thing, which coincidentally this word can be used to express a good or a bad thing.

In this case, this word expresses my feelings exactly.  I could not describe the feelings I have right now any better with a thousand words....

Thank you whoever you are, for the perfect word for me, right now.

FUCK.

As you ascend remember what it felt like, because it's so lonely where you're going.

Yeah we know your shit don't stink and you're so hood
Know every word on the radio playlist
Like whatever they tell you to even though it ain't no good
There's a great life outside that mainstream bubble you live in
But you cant see through the so clear walls
Problem is you live for yourself, but you don't know how
It wont be long before you're "Arizona" on dare dorm dot com
We're waiting for you, to be big, be famous
We're waiting for you, in your own little universe.
We concede to your power, your almighty knowledge
did you make us and this earth so we could see your greatness?
Do we exist to serve you? care about you?
Or are you confused about it all?
Tell us great one, what is our purpose?
I don't think you know anything at all.
We've seen you change more often than the weather
and you're so fake we can't stand to have you around.
but go ahead, rise above us all,
we'll love to sit back and watch you fall.

When dreaming of genie doesn't satisfy your bloodlust.

Though he wakes up angry and mistreated
He appears to be happy but fatigued.
There was a time where he was wronged,
though he felt now was the time for revenge.
I saw him, prepared and set to roll
he grabbed his .22 and his knifed and left the hole.
before he set out, he mailed a box and a letter,
to read first, and open when instructed.
Now a fairly small hit list, he set for the first target.
A bit of a trip but length is no matter,
because he found #1, and planned the attack.
From behind with the knife, from the jugular came the rain,
quickly the body went down, target one was finished now.
Though the family had stepped up, he gunned them all down.
Reloaded and out of town he set for his next hit,
down a longer road he went, but a bigger target for his bullets.
Traded the car around, found where she slept at night
and once again, whacked one out without a fight.
Three shots to the head, for interior in red.
Last target had wronged him the most,
restitution would be found just as soon as he made it home.
Back in town at the store he found the name
Run down in the crosswalk, and off in a flash
Three up three down, before nightfall, at last.
One last thing to do before going down for the night,
a phone call to the last person he ever wanted to talk to.
She answered the phone with a cheer after completing what he'd wrote.
With praises of love, she expressed what she thought.
He was elated and happy, and had something to say,
he told her to open the box, and express what she felt.
He asked her to be his forever, and she agreed immediately,
and with a bullet to his brain he left her with his last words,
"We're in love again, this time I won't let you get away."

Boy, I wish this one made sense.

It's been a while since my last battle was won.
It's been just as long since i started to run.
But I can't stop or I'll get caught,
I wouldn't stop even if i could
They have my rap sheet, full of spoiled heists
my plans gone awry four fold, and those are mine.
from the first and my hesitation to get my pay;
to the second when I didn't take down the ungaurded watch.
I should have learned for the third, when let my accomplace steal the glory;
but it was the fourth that put me away, when i failed to pull the trigger to save.
When you're locked behind bars it's hard to see the sun,
the thrill of the hold up, to the stress of the getaway;
Luxuries I won't get to feel for some years.
It cost me my life but I lived for the most fun;
and i'll do my time, because i stopped when i should have ran.
What will i do the next time i see life?
I'm sure i lost my touch, i don't think there's any money to claim.
But i see new light, but now i cannot take.
I'll be there in some years, when you have money to take
but now i write 20, and play the game of wait.
Because I cannot act now, because we'd be broke all the same.

let me in, to let you in

Have you ever felt like you're the only one who knows
exactly when you'll die?
and knowing , almost makes up for all the lies?
have you ever felt like, even if you're life were to end tonight
you'd accept it as the end of your quest?
have you accomplished enough to satiate your taste?
As the substance fades out i can see the end now;
theres no more blood for this pen to bleed
no more muse for this brain to secrete. 
motivation moved to other facets of earth
inspiration has grown too tired to birth.
Decipher my propaganda
label me unabomber 
destroy me from the inside
so i can finally except the fact
that we're all alone when we die.
Look up to the sky
and tell me we deserve the lies.
the sooner we realize;
the sooner we feel alive.
The problem with the world is
we all know how to fight,
but we do it for what's right.
Trivial battles, pointless quarrels
fighting ourselves, because we think we're wrong.
But even when you win, you lose,
'cause that image in the mirror just cost you 20 years.

Name Ur T

Doctor, doctor, can you save me today?
I need this back in my head
and all that fresh paint has got to be replaced.
I know you can do it, but im not the million dollar man
All i can pay you is the bulk of my shoe , only the left though 
or dope me up with some morphine so i can get through.

Trueman call out to me
I crashed again and nothing worked again
deploy by design but not this time
lock by nature but this time, a failure.
Trueman inhabit me
They know me, better than me
almighty superior to smite me

Pickup my brain off the glass
put it on the report, it never deployed
primary and backup, both options destroyed.
It was a hit, simple as that
hunt down the mob if you were to avenge me
but ill be six feet under, just call if you need me.

Trueman call out to me
I crashed again and nothing worked again
deploy by design but not this time
lock by nature but this time, a failure.
Trueman inhabit me
They know me, better than me
almighty superior to smite me

They took away all my options to get away
they planned this out, elaborate as can be
I never saw it coming, they snuck up on me.
Unfortunately I could feel it all, 
the first blow to the head
to the last cut to my throat.
even after the lead sex with my brain
only gave birth to the game
shattered the womb, and spread the word of hate

Trueman call out to me
I crashed again and nothing worked again
deploy by design but not this time
lock by nature but this time, a failure.
Trueman inhabit me
They know me, better than me
almighty superior to smite me

You've killed me again, but can you save yourself?
you waste your time, as i always come back
when i work up my plan to retaliate
watch your back and play safe.
You keep taking from me;
my tools, my henchmen, I'll work alone
Kill me again, how many more times can you?
but ive laid a foundation, i come back, you lose. 

Best back-to-back song tandem ever: Work In Progress>We Do It For The Money Obvisously. -SYG

Decade's music awards, Best song.

Forty Days:

And it's been forty days
I've tried forty ways
You will never quite leave your sins behind
They'll haunt you, taunt you until the day you die
You will never really go
You'll think about it much but you'll need to know how the story ends, so you'll sit around, even though you should just go
Tell your friends what you have heard, show them all the lies unlearned
And when you really go, you will really know you were never meant for earth
What's it worth?
If we're going to break it down with any logic, it's absurd
And no matter where we go, we are not alone
When the silence turns to cries of "Why?"
What a way to begin: we inherit sin
And nobody's going to quench your thirst when the well runs dry
Well runs dry
And nobody's going to hold your hand on the day you die
I've tasted seven sins, so they won't let me in
I knock knock knock until my knuckles are bruised and raw
Stuck in the middle with my blood in a puddle on the floor
We made our beds, we'll judge ourselves
And only then and there will we disappear to our final resting place
What a waste!
So many decent people at the gates
And no matter where we go, we are not alone
When the silence turns to cries of "Why?"
What a way to begin: we inherit sin
And nobody's going to quench your thirst when the well runs dry
Well runs dry
And nobody's going to hold your hand on the day you die
And no matter who you know, you will be alone
When the silence turns to cries of "Why?"
What a way to begin: We inherit sin
And nobody's gonna quench your thirst when the well runs dry
Well runs dry
And nobody's gonna hold your hand on the day you die-ie-ie

-Thomas Kalnoky and the musical geniuses of Streetlight Manifesto.

When you wake up.

Stop clownin' around kid,
you have no choice.
You're life can't be chosen or changed kid,
you'll lose every time
because your life is a crime.

You'll never be the one, kid,
who takes in all the sun light
grows just like the streetlights.
You'll never make it out alive
the shark tank is granite lined
but slugs to slugs to the chest is worth buck to the brain.

cut down the nose kid, and take the check
because they can amputate your arms and legs,
but have yet to cut your neck.
That's not you kid, you're own little town
you can try and do whatever you want, but you'll never be a clown.

An hour later...

Do you believe in the apocalypse?
do you believe we can all make it?
Yeah we all make it through the end
Do you have the intelligence to see the way out?
Are you smart enough to find my light in the fog?

That's me on the outside
asking for you to put me to rest
Take my breath and stick the phones in my ears
the only thing i need from you, as you take my whole life.
lay me on the inside so i awake to nothing, not even me
Come find me when you when you see my signal,
the orange glint of something you normally couldnt see an arms length away.
I can glow scarlet in this gray, just for you, just for me.

Do you believe that under us is freshly fallen happiness?
Do you believe in Novo?
do you have what it takes to let me go?
If you killed me would I even know?

In these hands I hold the tools, to melt the snow and the pain away,
as i look up and hear the air break, with background music of my being saved.
victimized in happiness, I'll remember this, I'll remember you.
The day I die on my feet, is the first day of my life, as an honest man.
and I'll thank Pat the Bunny for revealing what i couldn't see,
the only savior for you, is me.

For the lack of posts....

So you may or may not have noticed that there haven't been many posts recently.... well there's reasons for that.

1.   You may or may not already know Im on a little non-vacation.  Not really getting the same inspiration on it, it happens.

2.   I've been listenin to many a great song, and they destroy anything i've ever written so Im somewhat reevaluating my stuff.  Hopefully great things are coming soon.  Just before the world ends.

Life;

Here we go with this life stuff again,
you do "this" so you don't have a life;
you have 18,000 friends so you have a life;
what the funk is all that shit?
What a huge problem has been growing inside the teenage age group.
An annoying, opinionated bitch that's trying to fit in so she ditches her beliefs, old friends, and lies her ass off 'has a life' but someone who just does whatever they want and makes themselves happy doesnt? 
How comical you are in your delusional little world.
It's almost cute.
When you lose sight of who you really are because you've been around lying so much, that's when you most likely "don't have a life."
But it's more like, a sad life, with a sad upbringing.
The ones who don't like to think before they speak, like to think they know everything about everyone and talk down to them for doing one thing or another?  That's sad. 
It goes hand-in-hand with the douchebags in the biggest truck they could find because their dick just can't be small enough.
Those are the kind of people that can't park, mind you.  You know the ones.... taking up 4 spaces in the walmart...  It's people like that that make me carry around a bag of sugar and a carton of eggs. (luckily they're everywhere so the eggs don't go bad in my car)
I have a brilliant idea to give plenty of people new jobs.
it's like an asylum for ignorant people.
If you're IQ is lower than your shoe size you are immediately admitted to these places.  (with the exception of the disabled because they have done no wrong)
Not to be forgotten are the damn scenesters.  OOHHHH how they're everywhere.
You know the ones in this case too, the guys in their jeans that are wayyy too tight, gay-ass haircuts, band shirts, and they dont SHUT UP about the shows they've gone to.(and in some cases they're like the aforementioned douchebags and dont shut up about the parties) 
These bitches, they always think they know of the latest band, the baddest thing in the underground music scene, when it turns out their favorite song is on MTV the next day.
"get a life."
The curses of the current generation of afraid.
I wonder what the next will bring... better or worse?
with the parents-to-be that i see.... it's looking grim.

World War 5

I dreamt of this place, only a few times
ive seen it in movies and books, they were lies.
I wanted to be here, for reasons unknown
this place is so peaceful, so alone
the closest ill ever get to hell in my life
but it appears to be heaven at the same time

We dreamt of this, we were scared of this
but its upon us now, will we get out?
there's no saving them, we're all that's left
we journey now, why try to make it out?
Only i wanted this, did i wish for this?
I live to fight, i love the grind
and no deadlines to strive for, nothing to die for
I may miss them tonight but It's time i thrive.

I need supplies to make it, but im trying to fake it
I'm finding the others, theyre becoming my fears
i ask myself if i wanted to go back, if i wished i would die,
as I dream of the trees and the old fashioned leaves
i realized in times like these, its foolish to ask for such luxuries.
Only one way to go, im outward bound
its so peaceful out, so miserable out
but the weather is wonderful, the lightning is peaceful
the rain may be toxic but I can't help but feel it;
on my travels for the holy item, i havent seen the sun in years
but a bottle of white moisture sure would save some brains.
Crazy as it seems, it's wonderful here
we have no engagements to make, and we do as we please
pickins are slim, but we make sacrifices to stay.
Alone, and insane.

We dreamt of this, we were scared of this
but its upon us now, will we get out?
there's no saving them, we're all that's left
we journey now, why try to make it out?
Only i wanted this, did i wish for this?
I live to fight, i love the grind
and no deadlines to strive for, nothing to die for
I may miss them tonight but It's time i thrive.

An Open Letter To: 90% of the population.

You may have noticed that this is a new addition to my blog.  Well, I have a lot of those, randomly, but this one is special.  Sort of special anyway.  This is going to be my little newspaper column type thingy, where I'm going to send my thoughts through the interwebs at all of you.    All two of you!  Directed towards a group, from another group.  Be advised, I don't like to censor myself, and some of this may be offensive, but have I really been one to care about that?  Read it or don't read it, it's up to you.  So welcome to my column of unleashed hatred towards the many things that pick my brain.  They will also be accompanied by cute little diddies such as this one at the beginning.  How exciting! I think I'm starting off on a good little tiny foot here. 

Dear 90% of the population,

       Welcome to the real world, there's been a lot you have missed when you were absorbed into yourself.  We all know that you have developed this universe that centers around yourself, but it's about time to step back into the real one.  A little word of advice, you are not always right.  You are not the only person that matters.  Everything is not about you.  Get all that?  Now, I understand that you believe your views are the only ones that matter, your beliefs are the right ones because it's what you believe, but the rest of us here like to believe that there is a possibility of being wrong.  Just sayin'.  Now I'll give you a second to get over the shock of the realization that you aren't the only person that matters in the world.  I want nothing more than to give you the opportunity to go live in your own little world, would you like that?  How long could you survive like that?  I'd really love to see ya try.  I'll book a million little islands for all of you to be on your own.  Do you know the best part of this?  The rest of us will never see you again! SHAZAM!  I'll get the doctor to prescribe you something for your superiority complex as well.  I'm going to leave this a little vague because I'm sure I will be addressing many of you again, so soak it in and I'll be talkin to you soon.  

Sincerely,

The other 10%

Artist Alert!

Jordaan Mason and the Horse Museum.

Captivating me like no other, I hope you never get big!

And yes, I wish my name had two A's.

First album review of this decade; back to the future style.

Let me start this post by sending my condolences, sympathies, sadness, and all sorts of other things to anyone who had passed away prior to February 4th, 1997.  Any of those people would not have the chance to listen to the album of which this post is centered upon, and that's a total bummer 'cause everyone ('cept Hitler) should enjoy the eargasms it spits out 14 times over a period of a little over 42 minutes.  The first of these instances is, quite simply, one of the best openings to a record-ever.  Basically what to take from this, don't take shit so literal.  Now, how can you top this grand opening?  How about a song about going against the grain?  With everyone trying to fit in, the most important characteristic of a human gets lost.  This characteristic being individuality.   Quickly moving to the third, a song about drugs.  A pretty condemning look at that.  Dealing with the issue of wasting life even though it feels good at the time.  Agree or disagree?  I don't care, rockin' song-period.  If you've experienced the pleasure on this round piece of plastic, you probably already know the ending, but keep reading anyway 'cause it's quite fun.  Isn't it?  Up next, we have a song about sex?  Or is it about love?  Or is it about both?  Well, the latter seems most appropriate.  A relationship based solely on sex-this song seems to foreshadow into the new millennium quite well, don'tcha think?  It is the millennium of libido quenching after all...  Big number 5 can be taken probably two ways.  Literally as the lyrics spell out ,but with the message in the intro seems another option is best.  The second option would be a satire of the teens in that time, or any time really.  You know the ones, hate everything?  Right now the knowledgeable might see the light of this post.  Before I waste too much cyber space let's jump to number six; shall we?  Another song of hate.  We've all felt this haven't we;  holding a grudge against someone, unable to get over it no matter how stupid the reason?  With the lyrics so simple, yet so awesome, this one's definitely worth a mention.  Lucky number seven remains my favorite of the cd, as well as the artist.  What catches me about this song is not the lyrics of losing a loved one, but the way that it is sang.  Perfect is a word I would use.  Number eights message is simple and I will explain it in two simple, non-English, words: Carpe Diem.  Props on the Bananafish reference though.  Fantastic number nine; the heaviest song you will ever hear!  It comes at you with such force, even The Pope would start head-bangin'.  Now if you can look through the sheer brutality in the music, you'll see the beauty of the lyrics, truly is one to behold.  Almost done, but they don't let up on number 10.  One of the more fast paced song on here, does not make it any less great.  The subject matter: bottled up emotions, and putting up with peoples shit.  We all do it, it's great to relate!  Alright, number 11, one of the messages put through on this album I really, really like.  Deals with raising kids, and basically (what I take from it anyway) don't let the negatives of your upbringing continue on to the next generations.  Something I find that most people lose sight of these days.  Track 12, appropriately named, is not only funny, but is also catchy and great to sing along to!  About thinking before you do something, again something that is lost in society today.  Boy, they sure are good at foreshadowing!  Almost over, can you make it?  Song 13 is one of the slower paced on the album, but once again, that doesn't make it any less awesome.  A song about depression, but it puts a smile on my face every time.  Aside from the instrumentals that perfectly match the lyrics, and the pure perfection in the vocals, it's an okay song.  In the finale of this epic record one thing stuck out from the beginning, the sequence of notes in the intro of this song, were left ringing at the end of the last, almost as amazing, album (as well as in the chorus at about the 1/3 point song on said album).  Whether it be about politicians or evangelists, it's still an epic end to an epic album, teaching an important lesson:  people are always in it for themselves and noone else.  Well, thanks for playing (or miserably sitting through) my little game here.  Should there be a prize for a correct answer to the question; what album is this post about; would you win?  Either way; though I'm one for songs with deep, less blatant lyrics, this cd reigns not only as the best of the artist, but as the best of the 90's and maybe more.  Simple, blatant lyrics but as catchy as they come for sure.  Great artist that amazes to this day, but with Ixnay on the Hombre you can almost see The Offspring grow to where they are now.

Here Goes,

Stuck in a wind storm with the shepherd's crook for a necklace,
inside out, with rain pouring down, once upon a time I used to think this was the best.
stop, drop, and slide to break the gallows legs
as a collar for k9, rip through my head.
But last and finally of all, I slip through the mold;
I slipped the hook, and you lost your hold.
Fly away, accuser, let loose those broken hands;
suddenly, 3 miles away, you have no safe place to land.
The end.