turkey sandwich (feb 09)

used was never how i was meant to be
only here to feel the pain of the world
to care and to help those i believe
to get broken again and again
with a chest made of salt
you know it burns greater than ever
despite the love i feel
giving so much without anything in return,
is not enough to keep me going
blinded by the greatest thing
pouring out, and left here to burn
id do it all again, you deserve the best
im sorry i let you down, it falls on me
if i had my way
the greatest memories of you and me,
would be here to stay
its worth all the struggles
risk and reward is just my way
it seems like your afraid to take a risk
but you too will get a reward
if i am known for one thing,
its my passion to make the ones i love
the happiest ones of all

maybe ill set out to sea
because i cant get away
you are every face on tv
and girl in a song
and they all haunt me
and with more balance today
i would not fall,
a long pondered leap of faith
the toughest decision to be made
without a single ounce of haste
could end up killing my brain
however brings no regrets to name
these smokes no longer help
and my pens are all out of blood
attempting to leave my mark on the world
a waste of time and space,
im meant to be forgotten
"im not screaming these words out for nothing now"
one of many recurring lines
on a scrolling marquee in my mind
whats an addiction but a major infliction
increasing my extinction
giving meaning to my existence?
tell me, just how ludicrous is this?
if there was a god in heaven,
he wouldnt pull so hard on the strings
hope for a good time after,
splattered like brain matter on the inside of my car
the tip of the iceberg,
the story you know,
is melting in the light of the sun
rising for the first time
from the clouds of ruin
my faults and falls
are my pleasure to indulge.